The holiday season can bring joy, festivities, and time with loved ones—but it also often brings changes in routine, sensory overload, and unpredictable social situations. For children with autism (and their families), these changes can be especially challenging. With thoughtful support and planning, however, you can help minimize stress and make the holidays more positive and meaningful.
1. Prepare Early and Use Visual Supports
One of the strengths in supporting children with autism is the use of visual supports, schedules, and social stories. Before holiday events, consider creating a visual calendar or countdown that shows what will happen each day (e.g. “Decorating tree,” “Visiting Aunt’s house,” “Opening gifts”). This gives the child predictability and helps reduce anxiety about the unknown.
Social stories—short narratives that explain what to expect (“At Grandma’s house, we will see people, talk, and open presents”)—can help the child anticipate the flow of events. Rehearse parts of the day in advance, perhaps through role-playing, so your child becomes more comfortable with what’s ahead.
2. Manage Expectations — For Everyone
Set realistic expectations for both your child and yourself. Recognize that the holidays may not look “perfect,” and that’s okay. Plan shorter visits or create escape plans (quiet corners, breaks) if the child needs space. It’s better to have a positive, shorter experience than to push for overstimulation.
Communicate with extended family or hosts in advance to ensure a smooth experience. Let them know your child’s preferences, possible challenges, and strategies that help (e.g., “He does best when we limit loud music,” or “She may need a quiet time after an hour”). Having allies who understand your child’s needs reduces the surprises that can occur during gatherings.
3. Control the Sensory Environment
The holiday season often features bright lights, music, crowds, unfamiliar sounds, and strong scents (such as food, candles, or pine). These sensory inputs can be overwhelming.
- Create a fallback quiet space. If possible, designate a room or corner with dim lighting, comfortable seating, and minimal noise where your child can retreat if needed.
- Bring familiar comfort items. Favorite toys, noise-canceling headphones, weighted blankets, or items with soothing textures can help your child regulate.
- Modify sensory inputs gradually. Don’t introduce too many new decorations or lights at once. Introduce changes slowly, and observe how your child responds.
4. Structure Breaks and Downtime
The holidays often pack many activities into short periods—parties, travel, and family visits. Without planned breaks, children with autism may become overwhelmed. Schedule downtime between events. Keep transitions manageable by providing warnings before moving from one activity to the next.
You might build “buffer zones” (quiet times, sensory breaks, walks) into the day, and use timers so the child knows how long a break or activity will last.
5. Use Positive Reinforcement and Reward Plans
Because routines change, reinforcing positive behaviors becomes even more important. Decide in advance what behaviors you’d like to encourage (e.g., participating in dinner, greeting relatives, waiting patiently) and plan small rewards accordingly (stickers, preferred activity, extra screen time). Catch moments when your child is coping well or showing flexibility, and praise specifically (“I saw you take a break when you felt overwhelmed — great job!”).
6. Adapt Gift-Giving & Activities
Gift-giving can be tricky. Children with autism may prefer functional or sensory tools over toys, or may become fixated on certain types of gifts. Consider:
- Choosing gifts aligned with their interests and sensory needs (e.g., fidget toys, art kits, noise-muffling headphones).
- Giving experiential gifts (e.g., a favorite outing, tickets to a quiet museum) rather than many physical items.
- Limiting gift volume — too many gifts can be overstimulating.
When doing activities (crafts, decorating, baking), provide clear steps, visual instructions, and allow flexibility so the child can engage at their comfort level.
7. Support Social Interactions Gently
Family gatherings often require social skills like greeting, conversation, sharing, and waiting in line. Some strategies:
- Prepare and rehearse greetings or conversation starters before the event. Role-play scenarios such as “Hello, how are you?”
- Provide exit strategies if social demands become overwhelming (such as taking a quiet break or stepping out for fresh air).
- Use social reinforcement: when your child participates in a social interaction, praise or reward the effort—even if it’s imperfect.
8. Self‑Care for Parents & Caregivers
Supporting a child with autism during the holidays can be emotionally and physically demanding. Caregivers also need rest, backup plans, and support. Some tips:
- Plan “you time” or breaks for yourself, even if brief.
- Ask for help from family or friends—delegate tasks so you aren’t doing everything.
- Stay flexible. Be kind to yourself if things don’t go perfectly. Celebrate wins, no matter how small.
9. Use ABA-Based Strategies During the Holidays
At Verbal Behavior Associates (VBA), we believe that children can learn new skills even in the midst of change, and that caregivers can be powerful partners in that growth. Some ABA-based strategies to keep in mind over the holidays:
- Token systems. Maintain reinforcement systems even during holiday breaks.
- Backward chaining. For multi-step holiday tasks (wrapping, decorating, gift-giving), teach steps in reverse order so your child experiences success immediately.
- Prompt fading. Gradually reduce assistance as the child becomes more comfortable with holiday routines.
- Behavior planning. Anticipate triggers, and have replacement behaviors prepared (e.g., deep breathing, requesting a break).
10. Reflect & Plan for Next Year
After the holidays, take time with your child (and yourself) to reflect:
- Which strategies worked well? Which did not?
- What events were stressful, and how could you adjust next year?
- Discuss with your child (if possible) what parts they liked and what they found challenging.
Use those insights to plan for future holidays, refining your visual supports, social stories, and routines to enhance your overall experience.
Conclusion & Call to Action
The holiday season can pose unique challenges for children with autism. Still, with early planning, visual supports, sensory accommodations, and ABA‑based strategies, it’s possible to make the season joyful, manageable, and meaningful. Every family is different—so adapt these suggestions to your child’s needs.
If you’d like support in planning holiday strategies, designing behavior plans, or training caregivers, please contact us. We’re here to help you create a smoother, more positive holiday experience for your child and family.